Thursday, 26 November 2015

Twenty five dogs

My history of doing prints has been a slew of disappointment and frustration, I'll be honest with you. There is little more dispiriting than watching a pile of identical artworks gathering dust sadly in the corner of your room.

So I have come up with a brilliant solution. What if everybody who wanted to buy a print told me ahead of time, so that I know how many to get? I know. Pretty smart. I suppose if I was really on top of things, I'd start getting deposits in as well. But if there is one thing about me, it is that I am a hugely credulous optimist at heart, so hopefully (hopefully) I won't have to do this.

I understand that this is perhaps not the kind of positivity and salesmanship that one would normally associate with this kind of pitch. However, as well as being a hugely credulous optimist, I am also a honest to the point of harmfulness. I anticipate that I will soon win numerous awards for my business acumen.

Click here for bigger

But anyway, yes... I've made a print! Twenty five dog breeds! How about that? It will be A3 size (29.7 x 42cm) and printed on 170gsm paper.  The price is £20, plus £5 for postage and packing (or £10 for postage and packing if you are outside of the UK). If you would like to pre-order one, you can either email me or contact me via Facebook. I can't absolutely guarantee that they will be ready in time for Christmas, but if you particularly want it for then do let me know and I will try and accommodate.

PLUS! A bonus for all my long-suffering fans: I have made all the line art (plus some extra stuff that didn't make the cut) available as six A4-sized pages that you can download, print out and colour in yourself. They are available HERE. For free! FREE!

Wednesday, 11 November 2015

Other prints are available

My endlessly long-suffering faithful readers will know that you can now buy a print of my picture of 60 great European football players. However, this is not the only thing that I have for sale. Dare I even utter the word, but they may be good Christmas presents. Yes, I went there. I heard those sleigh bells ringing. Ding ding dong dingie dong doo.

I can now offer a range of other A3-size prints too! These are exciting times. Each one is on 160 gsm photographic paper and will cost you £20 (or £30 if you are lucky enough to not live in the United Kingdom).

60 Grand Prix winners, 1906-present. (click here for larger)

The first print is in a format that fans of my football picture will probably remember. The subject this time is people who have won a Grand Prix motor race, from the inception of the term in 1906 up to the present day. All 32 Formula 1 World Champions are included, plus significant competitors from pre-war, pre-Championship motor racing. Completing the list are notable drivers from the World Championship era who never won the title but nevertheless made their presence felt or left us before they were able to achieve their full potential. Fans of Heinz-Harald Frentzen will no doubt be suffering pangs of disappointment, but for Giancarlo Baghetti boosters there is good news: the only man ever to win his debut World Championship Grand Prix makes the list.

The relative sizes of cats (click for larger)

Some people do not like sport, either as much as I do or at all. It's crazy but it does happen. I've seen it with my own eyes, when I wasn't otherwise occupied watching sport. For these people, it should be noticed that I also like animals. Here are some now! This is a helpful visual guide to remind you about all the varieties of cats available for consumers these days. Plus, at just £20 per print, that is a mere £4 per cat. £4 for a tiger? Yes please!

Giraffe (click for larger)

For people who are not all that in to cats, there is a giraffe. But what is a giraffe if not a long-necked vegetarian cat? Actually, a giraffe is more like a horse, a fact your local farrier is likely to want to repudiate in the most stringent terms. But persist and you too could be riding your very own giraffe down to your letter box to pick up an additional, flatter, giraffe.

As I said at the beginning of this post, all of these prints are A3 size and cost just £20 (£30 if you live outside of the UK). If you would like to buy one, just send the appropriate monies to this here Paypal account. Please remember to include a suitable delivery address and, most importantly, remember to state whether you want "GP", "Cats" or "Giraffe".

(If you would like to buy a print but don't do Paypal, do not panic: you can contact me via email, Twitter or Facebook instead and we can sort out an alternate means of payment and address exchange).

If you prefer buying originals to prints, don't forget that there's a gallery of items that are currently for sale at the top of this page. To help you further, there's also a link to it here: HERE.

Sunday, 8 November 2015

Sixty Greats of European football

For larger, click here
Every so often a picture escapes from my dingy artist's hovel and the above is one such example. It has proved very popular too, a fact that I attribute to the following broader social observation: a lot of people like football.

FAQ


How did you choose the players for the picture?
Every single winner of the Ballon d'Or, otherwise known as the European Footballer of the Year award, who has also represented a UEFA-affiliated nation at international level is included. This left a dozen or so spaces, which I filled with players who I deemed to be significant enough to sit in this company. So, as far as they are concerned, complaints to the usual place.

Where is Lionel Messi? Where is Diego Maradona?
Both Lionel Messi and Diego Maradona are from a country called Argentina, which is not in Europe. I made a rod for my own back here, including players such as Alfredo Di Stefano and Omar Sivori, who were also from Argentina. However, Di Stefano also represented Spain in internationals and Sivori was capped by Italy, therefore making them eligible for inclusion. Messi and Maradona did their finest work playing in Europe but, of course, all their international hoofing was for the land of their birth.

Where is Eric Cantona?
Complaints, as ever, to the usual place.

Where is [someone else]? If I pay you, will you draw him for me?
Almost certainly. For all commission requests, you can email me or send me a message via Twitter or Facebook.

Why is this picture so rubbish? None of these people look like who they are supposed to!
OK, it's probably best that you don't avail yourself of the following:

I like this picture, can I buy one?
I am very glad you asked. Yes, you can. I am producing a limited edition print run of 100. They are A3-sized on 160 gsm photographic paper and will each be hand signed and numbered by me. The price: £20 each, inclusive of postage and packing (within the UK only, or £30 each for places that are not in the UK. If you're not sure if where you live is in the UK, I don't know what to tell you.)

To order, just send the appropriate amount of money to my Paypal account (for outside the UK, click here) Don't forget to include a suitable delivery address and an email address where I can contact you to keep you updated as to the progress of your order. Each print should be with the recipient within 7-14 days, although this may take a little longer during the festive period.

Don't have a Paypal account but still want to buy a print? Not a problem... simply contact me via the emailTwitter or Facebook links in this post instead and we can sort out an alternative method of payment.

The original is also for sale: price £200. If you would like to buy that, please don't send money to my Paypal account - I can't be sure that when you do the picture will not have already been sold. Instead, send me an email. That way whilst I can't absolutely guarantee that the picture will not have already been snapped up, at least we won't have had to send £200 back and forth between one another.

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