Wednesday 8 February 2012

Beverly Hills Cop II: ultimate 1980s film

The simple fact of the matter is, Beverly Hills Cop II is the ultimate 1980s film. Its 1980s-ness grows more potent with every passing year. Once an accurate reflection of how we were all living back then on the streets of Toxteth and Brixton, now it has taken on a whole new role as an historical document to be studied by the decades to come. Those of us fortunate enough to remember Eddie Murphy in a purple rubber suit must, while we can, be the wise old sages to these coming generations.

You've probably been thinking for some time now that I'm an idiot and everything I think, write or say is demonstrably false, if not also downright ignorant. But I have to assure you that I am sure as sure can be about my rectitude with regards to this particular matter. I now present a comprehensive list of reasons why Beverly Hills Cop 2 is the ultimate 1980s film.

A Comprehensive List of Reasons Why Beverly Hills Cop 2 is the Ultimate 1980s Film

1. The soundtrack
Axel F! Harald Faltermeyer! Powerful, glossy, upbeat synthpop ballads!

2. It's a sequel
What could be more 1980s than a sequel? Its fundamental concern is not art, or to tell a story, but to cash in.

3. Eddie Murphy is in it
4. So is Paul Reiser
5. So is Brigitte Nielsen
6. So is Gilbert Gottfried

7. Casual swearing
As late as the 1970s, swearing was still something of a big deal in the cinema. By the 1980s, everyone was saying fuck and cunt and fuckwind and cuntwubbler, even in family films.

The Tall Blonde Ladykillers

8. Ostentatious wealth
Even in Detroit, people are living high on the hog and wearing mink stoles

9. People being moved to traffic duty
What is the worst job in the world? Well, of course, it's traffic duty. In the 1980s, people realised that and being moved to traffic duty became the go-to punishment for any infraction at work. Even for people who don't work for the police.

10. Two-colour Gridiron team jackets worn with jeans

11. Stupid intransigent white police chief playing politics
12. Furious, hypertensive, foul-mouthed black police chief
These are the two main type of authority figures that existed in the 1980s, and they are both on display here. Margaret Thatcher was of the latter type, for reference.

13. Casual jokey references to advertising slogans of the time
14 Spirited product placement
Because money talks and bullshit walks.

15. The movie poster
Look at it! It is ideal as a VHS cover, or a film poster, or even a video game box. The 1980s was when people realised that multi-formatting is what made the Baby Jesus happy.

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