Sunday 4 January 2009

January is a cold month

I just thought I'd write that down as a title, just so as to remind anyone who has recently remarked to me that it is very cold at the moment with a quivering air of surprise in their voice that it is not a freak occurence. Of course, some people have remarked to me that it is cold without this air of shock, which is of course perfectly acceptable. So, that's that cleared up.

This all said, it is really very cold today. The bird bath, which has been freezing over every night this week anyway, is now a solid lump of novelty ice (surprise your friends with new, bird poo, old feather and seed husk-tainted stagnant water ice!). In other wildlife news, the cat has been showing his utter disdain for the conditions by not going out. Indeed, this morning he emphasised the fact by doing his dirty, filthy cat business on the upstairs landing. Fortunately, it is so cold that the turd rapidly froze and I am now using it as a stinky crayon. Still, it was a little uncalled for. Last Saturday's Guardian informed me that a third of British wildlife is now thought to be endangered, and I can assure everyone that my cat is included in these figures.

The importance of always having a bottle of carbonated mineral water in your house was yet again proved to me during the clean-up. Because I grabbed some mint and made a Poojito cocktail. No, wait, I actually used the fizzy goodness to get the last vestiges of dump out of the carpet fibres. It's incredibly effective, which is probably why people who make carpet cleaning products hush this fact up. The same method assisted with a Port Accident on Christmas Eve (the little glasses are so easy to knock over, once you've had 8 Ports), leaving the carpet as good as new without the tell-tale "one cleaner spot than the rest" thing. Carbonated water. It is what seperates us from the savages. Or, at the very least, the people with dirty carpets.

1 comment:

bleep said...

January is COLD month. As in it is when people get colds.


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