Monday 19 January 2009

More things

I was planning to do a post about how much I like Girls Aloud today, but that will have to wait. Because several other things which aggravate me have come to mind, and I just can't hold off.

5. People playing music on trains or buses

This is just outrageously annoying. Transcendentally so, in many cases. It's on the rise, too, thanks to generation-after-generation of more sophisticated mobile phones. Plus generation-after-generation of more inadequately socialised children, of course.

6. Drivers who don't know how to indicate properly

As a lifelong pedestrian, I'm by now pretty much used to giving motor vehicles right of way. It seems only reasonable. Would it, therefore, be too much to ask for the courtesy of road users actually learning how to drive properly? I've never driven a car, but I seemingly know more about the use of the indicator than half of the motorists whose path I cross. Literally, in many cases, as they blithely turn without so much as a hint. I hope they all get diarrhoea.

7. Sports fans who cry when their team are relegated

I have sympathy for people who care about sport and invest their time and money in it. I could even understand someone getting upset if their favourite club fell foul of the economic climate or other factors. However, please believe me when I say, if your team get relegated from their division to the one below, they'll still be there at the start of next season. In fact, you may even have a better chance of seeing them win. Of course, the kind of moron who cried on the final reckoning of the previous season will most probably have buggered off to support someone else by this point. If behaviour like this was exhibited in any other realm of public life, you'd be registered as mentally ill.

8. Christian rock music

Hey, guys, let's let people know about Our Lord, but in a way the kids will dig, yeah? You fucking arseholes. If you end up writing a song which happens to be about your faith or beliefs, fine. If you don't, but have them inspiring your creative endeavours all the way, fine. Christian rock is the musical equivalent of people who sit on the toilet straining to have a shit. And, like people who try and force bowel movements, Christian rock has been known to cause massive brain aneurysms, usually in the listener.

9. Apologies no-one means

"Essential road maintenance in progress. Sorry for any inconvenience" Well, no, no you're not. And that's fine. Things have to be done. The road network is pretty important for society, for example, so the occasional roadwork is the lesser of two evils. So why, why, why the need for the completely perfunctory and disingenuous apology? The world, I tell you, it's gone rotten.

10. Accidentally taking your mother's HRT tablets instead of paracetamol and lactating for the next six months as a consequence

Okay, I'm making these up now, I'll stop there.

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Graham Sibley said...

I had hoped that days of lingering shots of depressed footballs fans had disappeared with the advent of big screen TVs at grounds.

Fans that were one moment in the pit of despair, are frequently cheered into smiling, waving buffoons once they spy themselves on the jumbotron. Sadly, those sneaky directors from Sky now cut away from said fans just before the delay reveals they are being watched.

kate said...

girls aloud are dog shit

Mystery_Bob said...

As a driver, I can confirm that we deliberately indicate incorrectly. It's so we have a better chance of confusing, then hitting a pedestrian.


You have reached the bottom of the internet